Victory Records, 2005

Reviewer: Karma E.

Move over Jack Skellington, there’s a new nightmare coming to town and it seems it is not seasonal, its Seattle’s reigning kings of horror rock, Aiden. They are making Halloween an everyday occurrence with the release of their debut disc on Victory Records, Nightmare Anatomy. This disc will arrive via bat wings to a musical cave near you on October 4^th …just in the nick of time for our blessed holiday (all pending on your religious beliefs): Hallows Eve, All Souls Day, Samhain... This enhanced CD is jammed pack, full of goodies, no tricks all treats! When you pop this puppy in your computer, you will find a lengthy “featurette” in which the band offers a glimpse in the making of the album, bares all (at least almost in one scene), the history of the band… Utterly entertaining and will especially be for the screaming girlie teenyboppers populous.

I do have a couple of squawks with this album, for the opener “Knife Blood Nightmares” on paper sound like it would be a sheer winner, however things do not always go according to script. The song is the weakest amongst eleven tracks. Luckily, with the rest of the CD you do not feel as if, “you can’t seem to wake up from this nightmare” by no stretch of the means. Okay, is it cheesy? Sure the hell is, cheesier than this review is to be exact. If I had a penny for every time references of dying (worse than the mounting tolls of bands with the same subject matter) were mentioned, I’d be writing this review from Transylvania instead! It offers more to look at than it does to listen too unfortunately. The band is almost there…then again; this is what debut albums are made for…they have enough time to work the kinks out. Too bad they did not use the outro to commence the CD. The outro, or the hidden track on “See You In Hell” is dark, cool, and sets an ominous tone…leaving you unfulfilled, wanting more, thus the next release?! Of course I am only speaking of the hidden portion or sound bite section of "See You In Hell". Even if you are not into punk or horror rock, there will be something on this disc for you to justify the purchase. It is above the burning/downloading status; it is worth the purchase for the packaging alone.

ASG

Feeling Good is Good Enough
Volcom Records, 2005

Reviewer: Maggie S.

Listening to today's music scene is like reaching into a grab-bag of small animals. You can either end up picking up a venomous snake or a harmless box turtle. It's a gamble, because there are more snakes than turtles and you're most likely going to end up getting bitten by one of the many fang-bearing serpents. In the music-world, those serpents are the ever-present, similar-sounding bands that always find some way to bite you on the ass with their generic music. ASG (Amplification of Self Gratification) is on the fence when it comes to if they're a snake or a turtle. If you look at the instrumental aspect of Feeling Good is Good Enough, every track is practically the same. I didn't know that just now the second track had changed to the third because the style is the same. It's some sort of punkish rock music, and even if you aren't a punk fan you know the music and bands don't vary that much in sound. The vocals have an almost Irish accent to them (which adds to the punk style) and shove the band completely into the serpent pasture. Watch out punk bands – there's, uh, another group joining your fleshpot of repetition.

AS I LAY DYING

Shadows Are Security
Metal Blade Records, 2005

Reviewer: Maggie S.

As I Lay Dying is a band that is constantly slotted into the genre of generic metalcore, but in my eyes they stand at least one step out of that stereotype. Shadows Are Security is a wave of refreshing double bass and singing guitar chords that creates a perfect edition to this west coast band's discography. It starts powerful and ends strong, with a single cut in the middle as a less brutal piece - "Repeating Yesterday", which reflects the gentleness of such tracks off "Frail Words Collapse" as "Behind Me Lies Another Fallen Soldier" and "Song 10", which then breaks through into headman Tim Lambesis' shuddering vocals that rattles the bones of anyone within earshot.

A second take on unique introductions - the last song on the album, 'Illusions', begins with two minutes of a gradually loudening static that fizzles into more of Lambesis' impressive screeches. Jordan Mancino continues to rise above a majority of metal drummers with his satisfying mix of pounding bass symphonies and snare abuse, but never over-lapping the talents of axemen Nick Hipa and Phil Sgrosso who never fail to break out the melodic riffs at the right moments.

All highs and lows adding up, this album is definitely one metalcore fans will enjoy, though it does not differ completely from the band's previous release - it's still worth the pit stop at Best Buy.

Starting out in a folksy rock style, Baraga Embankment goes into an avant-garde pattern similar to something like Pink Floyd. This is one of those songs that will grow on you with every listen. The sad story of I Fucked Your Dad is LA post-modern rock opera that is really like anything else on Terrorhawk. Thru the Entrance Of The Elected requests of you to "Change your life into a postcard version of white snow or so the story goes and the horse that you rode in on will be the horse that's taking you home."  The haunting layered keys in the background add an element of wonderment to the track. Slowing it down is What A Horrible Night For A Curse, in standard modern rock style. It's tracks like Seven Stop Hold Restart, Out Loud Hey Hey, Antwan and Heard Iron Bug where some falsetto's and post modern styles are retreaded and are ultimately not on a par with the rest of the album. The album closes with Rich People Say Yeah Hey Hey, another social commentary on the state of unemployment in the big city. One wonders if they are referring to Detroit directly.

You know, I'm always thankful for Napalm Records and the materials they send for review. Of all the CD's I received from them to review here, not one is anything remotely bad. While some are most definitely better than others, they're all good in their own right...even if they're not exactly metal. That, my dear friends, is the case of Beseech. Beseech plays a style of music made famous by HIM but Beseech actually plays this music with more passion and heartfelt honesty than Ville Valo and his merry band of Finnish goons could ever hope to muster...even though I will admit I liked "Razorblade Romance". So yeah...

"Sunless Days" is a collection of melodic rock, with your typical moaning about lost loves and depression but with a twist...sincerity. It's easy to tell when bands are being sincere about the music they play, and Beseech is most definitely serious about their music...so serious that even my cold, blackened heart was moved by their display. Rather than laugh at them, I sang along and enjoyed the tunes. The combination of the lovelorn male vocalist and the sympathetic female vocalist (Seeing a trend with Napalm's bands in this edition, are we?) work very well to the music's advantage and always seem to keep things interesting.

Now, while this review has been littered with punchlines and jokingly obvious material, I am being serious when I say that Beseech is a band worth listening to if you're into melodic music like this. On "Sunless Days" the band brings the hooks, melodies, and powerful songs into full focus and offers up a record worthy of a night of romance or good old fashioned gothic boot knockin'...and with this kind of music, what more could you ask for?

Solid offering...just not really my cup of tea.

When I received this CD I was slightly confused about the entire thing. The artist was titled as "Bif Naked", and I soon found it was more of a solo thing and the singer was actually Bif Naked herself. With that out of the way - this is one of the female artists who should be all over the press, not the crappy pop singers that are currently clogging radios. "Superbeautifulmonster" hops from genre to genre within rock, from beat-bashing rock to modern punk, each song fronted with amazing vocals that can cover the punkish scowling on "Let Down" to the harmony on the strangely touching "Everyday".

Though most of the songs are pretty distant from any sort of metal, Bif makes a name for herself within the world of rockin' females rather than just another no-talent slut and would shake the world if her material reached the surface. Shockingly brave, Bif stepped into bigger shoes to do a cover of "Nothing Else Matters", creating a brand new version of the metal original that is the best a woman could ever do in covering the piece and did not scar it at all. Independent and risk-taking, Bif Naked has proven to be something new.

Black Dahlia Murder

Reviewer: Maggie S.

Having no previous experience with Black Dahlia Murder's work, Miasma struck me. It was slightly repetitive yet indulging, and not having the lyrics at hand frustrated me some. The constant switch from high-pitched screaming to low-pitched growls caught my ears the most, next to the extremely in-tune, side-by-side guitar work, changing with each beat, from an 'I will break your face' tempo to a creepy metal mood.

The introduction track of "Built For Sin" was only a taste of what the album as a whole held in its clutches as it splintered into shockingly powerful "I'm Charming". Even though Zach Gibbs has parted from the group, his work on this record is amazing – his bass rhythm speeds up with his snare and symbols as if there was a 'faster' or 'slower' button attached to his spine. For some odd reason this is the second review of mine where I mention resemblance to Mastodon in some way – the riffing on "A Vulgar Picture" contains that random, almost foreign-sounding tweak to it, like the entire albums' music videos should've been recorded inside a pyramid – which Mastodon seems to possess. Back to Dahlia, the sheer shredding and altogether rhythm on "Miasma" is impressive and tight, like they spent twenty-five years practicing for this moment. In a world of metalcore and hardcore, they chew up the core and spit it out, leaving pure metal.

BLEED THE SKY

Paradigm In Entropy

Nuclear Blast Records, 2005

Reviewer: Karma E.

Cover artist Aaron Marsh features an attractive sprawl of the morbid underworld mainly focusing on a headless winged skeleton figure whose vast wings spread over a mountaintop. Since words like paradigm and entropy are not contained in 100% of the viewers vocabulary, the band makes it easy to brush up on your vernacular supplying definitions to both words inside the booklet itself. Another tasty little treat on this enhanced CD is the music video for “Minion”. Overall, this CD is definitely one to pick up; it’s the first step in what seems to be a long line of succession of releases by Bleed The Sky!

BOYS NIGHT OUT
Trainwreck
Ferret Music, 2005
Reviewer: Maggie S.

When I turned this album on for the first time, I didn't know what to think. The first track, titled "Introducing", began with a slow instrumental and a strange voice reciting what sounded like a doctor of some sort reciting the diagnosis from a mental patient. Then glancing at the artwork, I realized that was the theme of the record. Several pictures in the cover sleeve portray a man suffering from confusion and sadness in a gloomy room. The song then ended with "these lines I wear around my wrist are there to prove that I exist". If that is not emo, I don't know what is, and pondering the decision to turn the CD off I then decided to give it another try when I heard the second track. Produced by Machine (Armor For Sleep, etc.), Trainwreck even resembles some of the producer's earlier works mixed in with the talents of the musicians to piece a somewhat unique emo/rock album.

While listening I found traces of synthesized effects and even jazz-like sounds, things most bands in the same genre would now label as stupid, but it actually adds to the band's partial originality. Something else that caught my eyes was the pattern of the titles, all ending in "ing", from "Introducing" to "Dying" and various actions in between. Songs such as "Recovering" and "Waking" particularly caught my attention with the softer vocals and conversation-like chords between guitars, along with various percussion instruments. Boys Night Out is experimenting with things most bands would never touch, and this will soon be beneficial to them.

BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE

Reviewer: Erika Kristen

Each song has the potential of becoming an anthem. The song titles tells a story in and in of itself. "Cries in Vain, No Control". Speaking of which, 2 ½ minutes into "No Control" they sneak in a break that should have gone on for another 20 seconds or so but instead became a HUGE tease! Whiney though tight vocal chords are exercised with smooth vocal changes. The lyrics throughout are designed for the wiseacre youth of today. Very well thought out and honest.

On "Curses" vocalist/guitarist Matthew Tucks’ singing is plain in today’s genre yet sincere. Slide in a little dancehall style drum n’ bass by Michael Thomas and Jason James adds a nice switch between tunes. Added to the mix, nice fretwork by Matthew and fellow guitarist Michael Padget. Riffs not so over the top where it wouldn’t be lost in a live performance. I can hear the girls screaming from here. Kudos to Matt for creating lyrics that shoots straight to the jugular of today’s youth. As fate has it, they have the promise of a notable future. Let’s hope they evolve out of their stagnate genre to produce some worthy meaningful music that this band has the potential of producing.

Calico System

Reviewer: Maggie S.

As soon as I heard Mark Owens' vocals on this record, I knew it was something good, and instantly Poison The Well clicked in my mind. His screaming resembles no other than the Florida ass-kickers and that alone brings 'future' to the table. On the track "They Live" the guitars and bass are tight with each other in short, jumpy breakdowns as though a sheet of glass were being picked apart by thrown pebbles before shattering into melodic, dripping choruses. The songs are quick and don't miss a beat, leaving no room for mistakes or other things that could drag them down, cutting out the middle man completely.

The balance of singing and screaming balances each other out, but the growls still overpower the harmony and the breakdowns overpower the growls – all equally – bringing it all together in a metalcore-like style that would make any hardcore kid drool. The lyrics throughout the album are actually quite emotional and touching at times, but the way that they're delivered don't make them so crybabyish, instead they're in-your-face and fun at the same time. This isn't easy, when vocalists deliver things from their hearts it's hard to get away from singing in a way that expresses that emotion as well. Owens lets rage take over, hiding heartache and life lessons in a layer of heaviness dashed with melody. To me the cover art was deceiving – two nurses operating on a heart. I was unimpressed by this image, pondering it to be another screamo group, and I shouldn't have because Calico System succeeded in proving me wrong. Maybe unintentionally under the influences of PTW, Calico System definitely have a bounce in their step and confidence under their belt.

As a follow-up to their last release which hit the shelves in 2003, Horror, New England hardcore/metalcore warriors, Cannae, are definitely still brutal, and in your face as ever! In comparison to their last effort, clearly their sound has evolved; however, the band’s latest contribution (and junior effort) Gold Becomes Sacrifice comes up a tad flat in the end. Please understand I am not necessarily criticizing them either. To be honest, I am looking forward to hearing the next release, this band seemingly is aging like fine wine, getting better with time! As for now, Gold weighs in at 38:33 offering ten vicious, hard-hitting, no holds barred tracks to batter your ass into oblivion, dousing you with gasoline, and setting the rest of your limp, lifeless, bloodied body on fire…barring the short yet immensely sweet interlude, instrumental entitled “Collapse”! 

A Change of Pace1/2

DARKANE1/2

Layers of Lies

DEMON HUNTER1/2

The Triptych

Solid State Records, 2005

Reviewer: Karma E.

First off, I need to start this review out by saying I purchased  The Triptych as quickly as possible after having the pleasure of hearing the first single “Not I” on Music Choice. Other factors that strongly persuaded to buy this CD were the visual amazement (considering two of the members in the band are the masterminds behind the famed Asterik Studio –Ryan and Don Clark) and the musical aspect. Seattle’s Demon Hunter's has to be of one the moodiest alternative metallers (or nü metal to others) around.

By the way, now is as good of time as any to mention their Christian affiliations. I love their style; they are not preachy about the whole God thing. Of course, the message is never lost, it's just not pronounced. So for all you pseudo devil-worshipers whom were attracted to the band’s name, if you close your yourself up a little more and bathe yourself in their dark, mysterious, and arcane music, you’ll miss the lesson all together! Guaranteed!! The vast majority of the populous have no clue they are a Christian band but to be honest, it is easy to miss at first glance until you dissect some their lyrics. But then again, it’s not like the majority of their tunes are based on this premise either and if it was, who cares! Let’s get back on the subject of mystery, back in the day during their first self-titled album, the band used to hide their identities from the public. One could only imagine how much havoc that wreaked as far as the press was concerned. Great marketing ploy, wouldn't you say? By the time their sophomore release rolled around [Summer of Darkness], they revealed the men behind the masks. Now to bring you back to the band’s appropriately titled CD, The Triptych, and third installment in the DH chronicles.   Just in case you were wondering what a triptych was it is a concept which is based on threes like as in the Trinity. To further explore the concept of the three, the band issued 3 separate album covers for the CD…artists I tell ya! Today the lineup consists of the angelic to devilish vocals of Ryan Clark; his brother and guitarist Don; on drums, Timothy “Yogi” Watts; on lead guitars, Ethan Luck; and on bass there's Jon Dunn whom just so happens to be the A&R manager of Licensing and Publications of Tooth & Nail Records, the band’s mothership label.

Despite the bands’, connect in the Industry, they are perfectly able to stand on their own merit! This more than competent five-piece is comprised of some very talented musicians and songwriter! Let’s get into the lyrical content for a hot second shall we? Listen to the following songs to make your own assessment, you'll be blown away: “Not I”, “Deteriorate”, “The Science of Lies”, and “The Tide Began To Rise”. Now the music, where do to begin? Well out of the twelve passion injected songs there is the bass laden Prong cover, “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck”; two amazingly robust ballads “Deteriorate” and “The Tide Began To Rise”; and the remaining nine tracks blister with deep-seated emotions, blazing riffs, heavy breakdowns, kicking bass lines, glorious melodies, deep growls, choruses which equals pure addiction. These songs are highly infectious; they'll hook you something fierce!! After saying all of this, there is a downside, the fillers... three too many. Other than that, I return to the original assessment!! Songs that will shred your mind, body, and soul are “Not I”, “Undying”, “Deteriorate”, and “The Tide Began To Rise”.

Demon Hunter transcends above the negative connotations associated with nü metal and or being a Christian band. They offer music for the masses, no matter which side of the fence you straddle – for the angel and the devil in you, or for the Bible thumper, or the lover of the inverted cross…! Asides the fact, who really gives a flying rats ass or a rolling doughnut here, when music is good, it should be revered!

Fury Of Our Maker's Hand

Roadrunner Records, 2005

A DOZEN FURIES
A Concept From Fire

For the uninformed... A Dozen Furies won MTV's Battle For Ozzfest last year and a slot on second stage of this year's Ozzfest. With that said and without mentioning it again - this album is fiery blast of melodic metalcore that hides emotion with a shell of brutality, a huge step from their 2004 EP Rip The Stars Down. Bucky Garret tears at your eardrums with the growls of his greatly improved vocal cords, then patches the wounds with symphonic choruses that constantly barge their way into your head. Examples of this are the 're-mastered' versions of "An Idea And Some Rope", "Lost In A Fantasy", and "Push Away", which flows with the signature metalcore sound before stepping out of the box with unique lyrical lines that keeps you pondering on what exactly is going on in Garret's mind.

The tracks that also snagged my ear the most were "The Cycle" and "A Concept From Fire" where heavy riffs and heavy bass beats combine to create the perfect mosh mood. Guitarists Marc Serrano and Joey Turner mesh together flawlessly in a partnership of talent, following the backbone support of bassist Keith Reber and drummer Mike Miller to accomplish a common yet uncommon sound. Another thing about this album that I liked was the prelude "The Gift" and the outro "The Ill Will" - "The Gift", pieced together by calm guitar chords that eventually break into the glass-shattering heaviness of "Awake And Lifeless", and "The Ill Will", a five minute and forty-nine second collage of light chaos and screaming which then melts into the singing of birds and the piano compilation of bassist Reber.

I have yet to hear this on any other metalcore album, and I found it as another unique streak for A Dozen Furies. As a result of all these elements, this band definitely fits in with the current "fad" of the metal world but they still lug the needed talent that strives to keep them individual.

EMERY

Emery is an almost unclassifyable group that runs from emo lyrics to melodic choruses to hardcore screams and back. This is why their unpopularity and place in the underground puzzles me - especially after the release of "The Question". Vocalist Toby Morrett seems as though singing has been his niche from birth, but it seems odd to place such a dynamic talent in a heavy band. Nonetheless, it gives the band a unique step-up - a singer that can actually sing! Make that two singers and a screamer. You would think all of that noise would distract you from the other musical talents; but it doesn't. Up-beat songs like "Studying Politics" and "Listening to Freddie Mercury" equalize the skills of every member, fitting together snuggly like the pieces of a puzzle. The word play on the titles is also fresh. "The question" of the album is "Where Were You When I Was.." like "Miss Behavin'" and "Playing With Fire". Emery's free-flowing style and careful organization proves that they are a group to keep an eye on in the future.

EVERGREEN TERRACE

Unlike some of the other CD’s that have crossed my desk as of late, Evergreen Terrace’s intrigued me from the moment I unwrapped it from the brown envelope. The cover is shades of Fallen Down, the movie. The red colored tie is indicative of the wearer being fed up with the “business” and scales all around to depict the amphibians he has grown tired of. Another scenario the well-dressed man or “suit” represents all that is evil in the “business” with red tie and scales as a larger sign of his treachery, wolf masked in sheep’s clothing. Either scenario fits the title of the CD perfectly Sincerity Is An Easy Disguise To Wear In This Business to a tee. Who knew one could redirect their feelings of cynicism and bitterness and turn it into a melodious masterpiece? What a way to exact revenge fellas!

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You could compare this album to a high-speed chase that ends in a brutal car crash. All of which compliments the CD rather than criticizes it. It's non-stop hardcore mixed with an odd but refreshing element of rock and roll, achieving exactly what the band wanted.

Side by side guitarists Jordan Buckley and Andy Williams bring smooth and rhythmic riffs together with vocalist Keith Buckley's now extremely expandable voice range perfectly - with such an example as the brutal ‘core sound in "Bored Stiff" that suddenly breaks down into one melodic line that completely changes the mood. "The New Black" displays an unique style for the group, with a shrill solo-like guitar sound throughout much of the song behind Buckley's continual demonstration of his new vocal abilities while bringing back the classic cowbell instances from Hot Damn!

As a whole, this album is an amazing example of the band's range, and is definitely worth rocking out to on the way to your boring job - or anywhere for that matter!
 

"Tusk and Temper" is my absolute favorite song, it reigns supreme! "That above the pencil below the pencil" business worked, then again the rest of the band obviously tried to outdo Keith as well. They are one tight unit. "Guitarred and Feathered" is one seriously catchy tune. Loving the artwork, with matte cover, etc. A chic production, through and through. No words can match this clever release. Congrats guys, you have arrived! Just one question, what took you so long?  -- Karma E.

This album is like a hybrid between Fear Before the March of Flames and a mainstream emo band - though the guitar riffs seem to be on the more technical side, almost resembling Saosin or Circa Survive. What does this mean? It would either mean to some people that a.) it sounds like almost every other band on Equal Vision (for the close-minded) or b.) the influences are many and collective.

The Fall of Troy is a concrete blend of modern screamo and melodic emo, what most hardcore kids today dread, bringing out the best and brightest hearts of both genres. Vocalist Thomas Erak covers a wide range of singing styles, changing chords from mangled screams to reassuring notes that make you step back from the "Stop" button at slight irritation. Erak also impresses listeners with exquisitely planned guitar sounds, with an example like "F.C.R.P.M.I.X.", which combines the two talents in a bouncy, dance-like track, taking on a completely different feel. Though the album carries a rather repetitive feel, it all contains the unique sound of the Washington group, with out-of-the-crowd songs like "Laces Out, Dan!" and "Whacko Jacko Steals the Elephant Man's Bones" which strive for attention. The artwork also supports this desire to be different, splattered with cartoon-like portraits of conjoined twins of every kind above creepy patches of black vines, a single phrase scribbled on the inside cover - "You Are Never Alone".

The Fall of Troy is far below the surface of mainstream screamo, but they're definitely on their way to digging themselves out.

HYPOCRISY1/2

Virus

Nuclear Blast Records, 2005

Vocalist and master producer, Peter Tägtgren manufactured a fine gem with this release; the profound virulence shall transmit its noxious mix of brutal black and death metal for ages to come, it is virological warfare at its finest. Virus penetrates your very being; you can feel the hate injected lyrics coursing through your veins as the CD progresses, best displayed on “A Thousand Lies”. The momentous rate of adsorption is astounding; the song will get your blood pumpin’ along with the other insufferable anthem, “Let The Knife Do The Talking”! Tägtgren and co have seemingly encapsulated all the rage and hate this collective have ever experienced with eleven tracks to tell the tale. To ensure a proper sendoff into the abyss, the CD ends with the soothing finale “Living To Die”. Double bass drumming Horgh does some fine work as well as bassist Mikael Hedlund forming a heavy foundation of rhythm as guitarists Tägtgren and Andreas Holma’s aggressive and scorching riffs complete the synthesis. Well known for their fierce riffages of aggression, complex instrumentation, and signatures of melody, they far outdid themselves this go round. Best virions or tracks in this case are “Fearless”, “A Thousand Lies”, “Scrutinized”, “Living To Die”, and “Warpath”.

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE

Reviewer: Erika Kristen

Give 'em four pentagrams… Interesting that Virginia’s Lamb of God chose to film their DVD in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, considering that is pretty much what this DVD is about in a nutshell. The trials and tribulations of brothers realizing their dreams together through thick and thin. Their discography may be only be 3 albums long but their association within this lineup as a unit is well over a decade and it shows! The performances are completely stellar. Frontman Randy Blythe takes you by the jugular and never lets go. Killadelphia is one of the most eye opening rockumentaries the music industry has put out this year, more like a rockudrama. It's a metal soap opera in the making entitled, "Kill-a-Randy".

The pilot? Picture this: MTV's Behind The Music segments but the subject matter is all about Lamb of God! The weird thing is, although you find out a lot about our heavy metallers, they were more jovial on the MTV stint. When you have a camera following you around demanding that you be "on" can be a little nerve racking to say the least. There is a clip which discuss' their relationship with their significant others and the strain and devotion that's maintained within those relationships. It really hit home that we have seen a lot of LoG on the road, three times for us in this year alone to be exact. It takes its toll. But, they don't complain, they want to bring the music to the masses and I for one am grateful. I'm even more grateful that this DVD is over two hours long. We suggest not running any heavy machinery after viewing because your heart rate will be wayyyy up! That's our service announcement, please heed the warning. Some songs performed "As The Palaces Burn", "Now You've Got Something To Die For", "11th Hour", "Omerta" and "The Faded Line" and it doesn't stop there.

In this episode of Kill-a-Randy, the premise surrounds Randy's drinking escapades and his out of proportion antics. Randy has the balls of an elephant in this piece. His bandmates try to put him into check thanks to drummer Chris Adler and guitarist Mark Morton. No one can ignore that Chris is the older brother to not just guitarist Willie. He's also part time father of this quintet weather he likes it or not, though reluctantly. Chris is constantly snapping Randy into shape so he can better his game. So if Chris is the dad, JC (bassist John Campbell) has to be the "mom"; let the boys be boys, wait for the dust to settle then clean up the mess and patches you right up. His equivalent to singing (old school beat boxin', quite well actually) gives some comic relief. Also, it's official, Mark is the most misunderstood performer to date. He's a bit of an enigma to an outsider. He's not the guy to mess with! Watch the DVD to find why we came to this conclusion.

Killadelphia is truly the best fix for any Lamb of God junkie! So if you want to get a hit of awesome concert footage and you have flashbacks like us, chanting "Now You've Got Something To Die For", then this will tide you over until the next time they blow though your town.

A LIFE ONCE LOST

Hunter

Ferret Records, 2005

Reviewer: Karma E.

Hating to go down comparison lane, but one cannot help it; on Hunter this weeks’ word problem is ALOL (Lamb of God + Meshuggah)/unique vocals of Robert Meadows. Hunter is comprised of eleven strong, uncommon tracks that grab you by the throat forcing you to give in with pitiless blows from the pummeling one receives from this offering. The merciless twin screeching guitars of Douglas Sabolick (his name is perfect for this field is not) and Robert Carpenter team up with an amazing rhythm section, holdin’ it down on drums is the masterful Justin Graves. Bassist, Nick Frasca truly shines on “Needleman”. His bass grooves are enough to make Meshuggah raise an eyebrow or two.

Romantic Wealth
Lobster Records, 2005

MY RUIN
The Brutal Language

Rovena, 2005

Reviewer: Sharita L.

Tairrie B.'s band My Ruin is back at it again with The Brutal Language released on the band's imprint, Rovena. In the words of Tairrie B., it's a continuation from her writing style of her project The LVRS with Mick Murphy, the bands' guitarist and her boyfriend.

In our interview, she speaks of when the rhythm section of the band quit and Murphy was forced to be a literal one-man-show; it gave her a new fire. You can definitely feel the emotions from Tairrie as she belts out the lyrics to every tune, especially "Silverlake 6751." There is also a funny track called "Vince Vaughn" that breaks up the seriousness of the album.

Even though Tairrie felt that this album as better, I beg to differ. There are some decent songs and Murphy's performance on guitar, bass, and drums is fantastic but unfortunately, all the songs sound the same after playing the CD awhile. It's a pure rock effort and shows Tairrie has a lot of guts. However, I feel that The Horror of Beauty was the better record of the two. Favorite tracks: "Vince Vaughn", "The Devil Walks", "Touch Me I'm Sick".

Reviewer: Maggie S.

With a new singer at the front, Norma Jean is back in the hardcore scene with another chaotic, not-for-the-faint-of-heart album. The Atlanta group's O'God the Aftermath is bubbling over with quick, unmatchable guitar riffs and rough vocals that, without the right ears, takes some getting used to. Because of this element, Norma Jean received a lower rating than I would have liked to have given them.

Cory Brandan's strained and distant voice pieces perfectly with the bands' style, who's sound basically resembles an onstage act smashing their instruments to bits but with more melody - which the hardcore kids seem to love, despite the lack of any continual beat. The rhythm changes multiple times within each song, leaving no chance of predictions. A prime example of such is "Scientification", which begins in complete ataxia but breaks down into slow, dragging guitar chords and random, scratchy vocals that actually sets a mood of relaxation. The song titles were also a unique piece on this record, being combinations of two words followed by a second title, i.e. "Bayonetwork: Vultures In Vivid Color", which has absolutely no relation to the track or lyrics, at least from the listener's stand point. Despite these confusions, the record is still a pleasurable listen for those who enjoy two-stepping or just brutal music.

OPETH
Ghost Reveries

Roadrunner Records, 2005

Reviewer: Sharita L.

Again, the masters of progressive/death have brought all they had to the table to put together probably the best record of the year. In my DevilDriver album review I know I said they kicked ass but Opeth kicks sooo much more. I'm sure even Dez and the boys would agree that this album might be the best Opeth album to date and the best release of the year!

1. Ghosts of Perdition - The beginning track starts out with a nice melody, then Mikael goes into his familiar growl. Throughout the tune, the band sound like a combination of heaven and hell thrashing together with the melodic sounds mixed in with demonic rhythms.

2. The Baying of Hounds - Opeth puts sweet melodies with hellraising growls. An excellent track that all should enjoy.

3. Beneath The Mire - This song has some really kick ass rhythm. Some spectacular drum efforts and riffs. Of course, Mikael lets out his aggression on the mic. Get the sense of being in the Sahara Desert or somewhere exotic.

4. Atonement - Calm and peaceful, unlike the other tracks. When you listen to Opeth there's got to be a break because your ears are pummeled eighty percent of the time. The bongos are a nice touch as well.

5. Reverie/Harlequin Forest - This is a great song. The lyrics on this one as well as the guitar work are unforgettable.

6. Hours of Wealth - This tune is beautiful. The heavens seem to open here. The melodies and acoustic guitar. Then it moves into an almost jazz like mood. The changes in this one as in all Opeth tunes throw you for a loop.

7. The Grand Conjuration - This may be the best song on the CD. It is a perfect combo of hard hitting riffs, great lyrics, piercing screams, and perfect melodies.

8. Isolation Years - A great ending to a spectacular release. From the first song to the last, this album is a must have for all lovers of real heavy music with great rhythms and lyrics.

A Bullet Called Pride

Psychophonic Records, 2005

Reviewer: John Grotans - InnerGroove33

Reviewer: Thorne 

This is really bizarre.  It's been bizarre since I first got this album when it was released.  I'm going to be quite blunt and state for a fact that Death/Grind albums don't move me.  I love them, I enjoy them, and I rock out to them on a daily basis, sometimes so much that my neck becomes sore and blood pours from my nose.  But to actually be moved by one?  Unlikely...well, until "Clients" was unleashed upon my eardrums anyway.  This is truly an album that destroys barriers and makes a lasting impression.  "Clients" is to Death/Grind what "Dark Side of The Moon" was to rock and roll.  Simply put...astonishing.

My head sometimes hurts when I try to imagine the insane amount of work that undoubtedly had to go into the creation of this disc, even down to the artwork and layout itself.  But I'll get to that later.  Let's discuss music first, my friends.  I always loved The Red Chord's debut "Fused Together In Revolving Doors" but this just takes what they were trying to do with that album to an entirely new and sick level of intensity...and accessibility.

I know that the word "Accessible" should never ever ever be used when referring to this music, but believe me when I say it's not a bad thing at all!  I simply meant there were times on "Fused" that the intricacy of the musicianship was lost within the tinny production and the sometimes overtly spazztic arrangements...not here.  Everything comes through clear, loud, and furious thanks to producer extraordinaire Zeuss.  The band has never sounded this massive or this full before, and the production aids that by a MASSIVE amount. But musically, the guys are more focused than ever.  As you're awoken by "Fixation on Plastics", the grinding fervor will emaciate you...and yet the jazz guitar line at the end will make you scratch your head as to say "WHAT THE...Nice."  From then on out, prepare for the same unbridled insanity as you're taken on a voyage into the horrific and frightening reality of the American Dream.  "Lay The Tarp" serves as a violent reminder that the journey has only begun.  Opening up with a brutal Gunface riff, the track explodes into an all-out confrontation courtesy of vocalist Guy Kozowyk.

As a singer myself, I have nothing and I mean NOTHING but respect for Guy.  The dude is surrounded on this album by 4 of the most insanely talented musicians I've ever heard in this genre and normally when that happens, the vocals just don't really compete with the music.  However, on this record, that is NOT the case.  Backed by the frantic fret work of Gunface and Kevin Rampelberg, along with the thunderous bass lines of Greg Weeks and intense drumming courtesy of former drummer Brad Fickeisen, Guy lets loose what will arguably be considered one of the finest in this genre's sorted history.

Reviewer: Maggie S.

Exit

Grindcore is a genre of music that's definitely not for everyone.  I feel it's more of a statement in extremity than an actual attempt to create what the world considers "music" but then again, that's just me.  Like any genre, some grind bands are far superior to everyone else.  Rotten Sound, in my humble opinion, is probably the closest thing to being called "Grind Gods" since Napalm Death's inception in the early 80's.  On this, their finest album "Exit", Rotten Sound displays everything I love about grind and extreme music in general.  Compelling, yet vicious songwriting and concepts and ideas that give one of the biggest middle fingers you can imagine to poor Mother Earth...for that, I love them.

"Exit" was also the final album produced by grindcore innovator and master producer Mieszko Talarczyk of grind legends Nasum.  Unfortunately, with Mieszko's tragic death during the Tsunami disasters of 2004, this is also bittersweet for me.  While Mieszko left his signature touch on Rotten Sound, it's a shame he'll never produce anything again...but for what it's worth, his final album couldn't have been more appropriate than "Exit".  For a grind fan like myself, this is pure audio ecstasy and more.

The true key of finding an amazing band of the grind genre is to see which ones can write a 1-2 minute song and make you feel as though it's a 4-5 minute song.  Rotten Sound has this talent and they use it like no one else right now can.  Now, departed drummer Kai Haihto (don't worry, his replacement is just as good) pushes this disc to levels so abrasive I can't even begin to put them into words.  This is like a drum clinic for blasters, but amazingly the rest of the dudes are never overshadowed by it.  In fact, it only enhances the monstrous nature of this album.

Songs like "Western Cancer", "U.S.A.", "Greed" and "Burden" march with an unbridled intensity that would rival any army this earth can muster.  After all, you didn't expect grindcore to be nice and soft did you? 

Honestly, there's not much more I can say than that.  "Exit" is powerful, it's catchy, and it's a mammoth.  Any grind fan and any fan of extreme music PERIOD should enjoy this.  Kudos, gents...kudos.

SCAR SYMMETRY1/2

Scary Kids Scaring Kids

I'd heard of this band before I'd been handed the album, when they're name was still fresh in the hardcore/screamo scene. I did not have any interest in them then, but I do now. The vocals on this record are strangely amusing and Tyson Stevens seems to be born into the harmony that is created by his bands' instruments, knitted for a perfect fit. His harmonic, flowing singing melts into your ears unlike most scratchy emo voices, but possesses a new rhythm that most modern singers in the scene seem to lack; as though he combined the styles of them all into one impressive vocal chord.

The City Sleeps in Flames starts with the title track which contains more singing that screaming, and it's refreshing balance within not only that song, but the rest of the album. Each time Stevens breaks into his high-pitched screams, the music seems to follow him in metal-like riffs and heavier drums, the pattern of his voice leads like an unpredictable ant trail to a picnic. The lyrics have a strength to them, emotional yet true, they also balance each other out like the music does. The line I picked out as an odd turn to the usual whiney lyrics was, "I turn away as the sunshine fades to black...what's left to say? Cause life's to short to spend alone in misery". Instead of what most fans are used to hearing, 'I want to be alone' or 'I'm so alone', Stevens encourages living life instead of hiding in the dark away from others, and I was almost surprised at this break from stereotype. During the song "Just A Taste", soft riffs and jangling symbols are slid under soft singing before it erupts into more impressive caroling and simple crying guitar solos, like a glass jar of butterflies busting open and heading towards the sky. Without many lines of metaphorical lyrics, the music itself creates colorful scenes in your head that is brought back with each listening to each track, a hard goal for a band in their baby years.

The title "The City Sleeps in Flames" is reflected in the cover and sleeve art as a young man and woman standing on the ridge of a cliff, watching emotionless as skyscrapers and buildings are eaten up by a blazing fire. On the last page of the booklet the city is desolated, the blaze is gone, and the buildings stand injured by the flames. All in all, Scary Kids Scaring Kids have it together in what they want and how they want it, from the developed vocals to the overall communication of the music to the tale-spinning art itself, this New York band are destined to douse the cities in flames.

Immersed

SIEBENBÜRGEN

Napalm Records, 2005

Reviewer: Thorne 

Eden’s Fire

Going a little further with the whole forbidden fruit angle and the layout, that's exactly what's on the cover of the CD. Artist Jose A. Aranguren breathes life into a half masked skeletal winged seraphim-ish creature with a bloodied mouth, hands, and the infamous apple. A black and white version of an angelic battleground is depicted in the background of the inside of the j-card. Very stylish!! The inner portion lists a passage from Revelations 9:1 "And the fifth angel blew his trumpet and I saw a star fallen from Heaven to Earth and he was given the key of the shaft of the bottomless pit…"

Considering the band does hail from melo-death country, one can surmise that there would be some similarities to established bands like Soilwork, In Flames, and Dark Tranquillity; particularly the latter, lead vocalist Richard Sjunnesson’s vocals are very reminiscent of that of one Mikael Stanne. Regardless of being able to peg the band’s obvious influences, Sonic Syndicate tackles the formulaic Swedish/Gothenburg Sound by tweaking it, putting a new fresh spin on things. Newcomer to group, bassist Karin Axelsson’s angelic vocals adds an extra beatific layer to their harmoniously heavy sound. Speaking of layering, Andreas Mårtensson seemingly translates the language of the angels through his gothicy keyboards. The shredding guitars of Richard’s brothers Roger and Robin are simply divine. The pristine and consistently sound of drummer Kristoffer Bäcklund also lends his backing vocals as well. One can compare the lyrical content to angelic script but just as in Revelations 9:1, you lurk in the abysmal darkness left to draw your own conclusions and interpretations.

“Enhance My Nightmare” is the sweetest nightmare one can ever experience. The song is not only surreal but will transport you to another place time with lush open greens and rolling hills to a tranquil area in a roaring river. Axelsson’s vocals make the song sound more like a lullaby than a night terror! “History Repeats Itself” and “Zion Will Fall” are very In Flamish. Again, no matter how familiar you feel the songs are the overall freshness of this collection is astounding peerless. Bottom-line the presiding angels of Eden Raphael and Metatron have seemingly shown Sonic Syndicate much kindness as well as the Israfel, the angel of music showering many blessings upon this talented collective as well. This sextet is destined to get better; being signed to such a young label will undoubtedly work to the band’s advantage as they have seemingly been given the keys to the universe in which shall be the canvas they shall paint upon.

Spitfire Records, 2005

Reviewer: Erika Kristen

Behold, the classic Testament lineup is back!!! I testify to you brothers and sisters, that if this recording is any indication of the original Testament lineup is to resurrect itself for another meeting of the minds, I will once again reclaim my seat amongst their flock!!! The rumor mill has been working overtime with threats of a new album and full tour of the classic lineup since the filming of the DVD. Behold, the classic Testament lineup is back!!! Live in London was recorded earlier this year during a mini reunion tour in Europe. Thanks to Andre Verhuysen, organizer of the Open Air Festival, who helped the Testament reunion along, Live in London is little short of a miracle to say the least. Testament’s longevity may have had brief interruption’s due to the revolving door of musicians to the cancer that plagued our lead thrash preacher Chuck Billy, but somehow the original band members emerge to produce an awesome ode to the music that has shaped the metal we listen to today. The classic Testament lineup consists of vocalist Chuck Billy, guitarists Alex Skolnick & Eric Peterson, bassist Greg Christian and drummer Louie Clemente. John Tempesta (of White Zombie fame) a solid fixture in the Testament lineup, shares drumming duties with Louie to help the production not miss a beat. And I TOTALLY appreciate the added drum frills Tempesta laid on us for tunes like "Sins of Omission" and "Souls of Black". 

Eagle Rock Entertainment, parent company to Spitfire Records [note: the media steamroller who boldly prides themselves as a disciple of hard rock/heavy metal old school] is based out of London. Hence, it should only be fitting that they host the reunion. Leave it to London's crowd to chant the guitar riffs during the recording to perfection. The intros to both "Trail By Fire" and "The Legacy" are two of the most memorable riffs in metal history. A few key changes within those songs and others didn’t harm the overall composition one bit. The aged seasoning of each player really comes out in this performance. The layout of the setlist showcases the strengths in Testament’s arsenal. Chuck's slightly strained vocals, where it required a bit more harmonious interchanges during "Electric Crown" were buried underneath the blast beats and competing guitars is almost overlooked. 

I for one, am gleefully happy Chuck and Eric continued the band for a decade after the original core of the group went their separate ways to pursue other endeavors, all the while leaving the door open for this reunion. Chuck’s successful recovery was just the beginning of good things to come. Alex, who had been playing with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and The Alex Skolnick Trio, as well as offering a couple of licks to Lamb of God’s Ashes of the Wake recordings, was amped for a reunion of Testament. The revival of sorts was in full swing with Louie and Greg returning to the fold after both kept low profiles during their absence.

It had been at least a good decade since all original members were on the same stage together and you got the feeling that although there was time between them the essential core to which they came together was played throughout the video. And by the way the band members were talking throughout the recording it was evident each member was at piece with the reunion.

The high point of this DVD for me was watching Alex and Eric’s performance during "The Legacy". "Over The Wall" was another high point  but "The Legacy" reminded me of ‘back in the day’ when every metal act needed a ballad, Chuck n’ the guys poetically said ‘Okay, you wanna ballad we’ll give you a ballad…’ and constructed the most somber slightly suicidal ballad written in metal folklore. Alex said it best, "The only thing that has changed regarding Testament’s music is that the equipment has gotten better!" Amen to that!!! Chuck’s guttural vocals on "Disciples of the Watch" (supported by Greg’s great backing vocals) is the perfect ending to this DVD. Not to mention Chuck demonstrating the upside-down cross made with his mic and arm. Ahhh, Chuck’s raspy cookie monster vocals is what it's all about! Raise those horns high, Testament is back.

THROUGH YOU

Silhouette
ParaFora Music, 2005

Reviewer: Maggie S.

The haunting voice of singer Mic Kirkland is the first think you come in contact with while listening to Blanket of Nerves off of their six-track release, Silhouette. Resembling many but ripping off none, his vocals could well become one of the most popular in emo-rock if it reached the ears of more listeners. The second most noticeable element in 'Blanket of Nerves' is the beauty of the lyrics – no matter how metal you claim to be you know there is always one slightly metaphorical line in a lighter piece that no metalhead would admit to feeling, but you know they do – and Through You produces those lines. 'Harbor' begins a bit differently than the one before it, as Kirkland belts off rhymes over bouncy guitar riffs and drum beats, but still the lyrics remain the same impressive product throughout. The pattern of changing your style from song to song on a record is refreshing, but is becoming more repetitive as bands are trying too hard to make themselves seem like they cover more genres than they actually can. Somehow Through You stands maybe an inch above the mass, most likely due to their vocally flexible singer; switching from Incubus-like singing on one piece to Rage Against the Machine-belting on another.

The cover art and inside covers use contrasting tints and metallic effects, making opposite colors work together in a rhythm that almost defines the short album itself. Through You might not be the new face of rock, but they aren't the underdogs either.

THROWDOWN

Vendetta
Trustkill Records, 2005

Reviewer: Thorne

Ok...what happened here? I know it's not normal to open a review with a question, but in this case, I'm going to make an exception. How does a band go from releasing great music and playing great shows to playing great shows and releasing craptastic material? For an answer, why don't we look to Throwdown? Yes, Throwdown, Orange County's proud champions of straight edge living and tough-guy hardcore have released an album that, on a choice of fun things to do, falls right under sitting in a bathtub filled with scissors with Magic Johnson. Now, the band's Trustkill debut "Haymaker" wasn't original and it wasn't even that impressive as far as musical skills go. But what it lacked in those departments, it more than made up for in it's simplistic beatdown of epic proportions!

Understand, I am very picky about hardcore and for an album to hit me like "Haymaker" did was nothing short of a miracle. I saw Throwdown live last year and they were just as good live as they were on the record, aside from Dave Peters' sometimes irritating tough-guy posing and dumb statements (Why play Roots Bloody Roots in honor of Dimebag? Wouldn't a PANTERA track have suited just fine?). However, when I purchased "Vendetta" hoping for an equally great listening experience, I quickly realized I had just wasted 12 bucks.

"Vendetta" isn't so much bad as it is...no, strike that. "Vendetta" is bad! It's also painstakingly boring and incredibly arduous to listen to for more than a few seconds. There are numerous reasons why I couldn't begin to understand this album, and shortly, you're all going to hear about them. However, let's start with the obvious...the material. As I said before, compared to their older material, this is just pathetic. Yeah, the other stuff might not have been musically dazzling but at least I could groove to it.

What am I supposed to do with this? I know I'm not supposed to be using it as a coaster, like I'm doing now, but come on! As soon as "We Rise" opens, several things become very clear very quickly. First of all, the production is not at all what I was expecting. When Throwdown announced that Zeuss was doing this album, I was thrilled because...well, it's Zeuss! Does one ever doubt a guy with the moniker of a Greek god? I think not! It's like doubting a guy with the name Chuck Norris! It's just not going to happen, folks!

However, whereas Zeuss normally hits the nail on the proverbial head of metal and hardcore, his production left Throwdown with no balls and no power this time. The guitar tone makes Kate Moss look fat by comparison, and the drum sound has so much static over it that it's ridiculous. Let's not forget that the bass is seemingly non-existent and that Dave Peters sounds like he's mustering every bit of his straight edge macheezmo to simply make it through a song without having to heave up the remnants of his non-alcoholic daiquiris!

Ok...the daiquiris thing was a malicious lie and I was only using it for comical purposes. However, the fact of the matter is that there's nothing comical about "Vendetta". I am so disappointed in this album, and have been since I purchased it, that only now am I fully ready to state the reasons for such. Aside from the production and the lackluster performances from the band, I'd also like to mention that the songwriting is painfully boring and quite puzzling at the same time considering the amount of time that the band had to write it! I mean, this should have been the anthemic hardcore album to end all hardcore albums! The potential was there, but unfortunately, it was squandered. However, I gave this album 2 pentagrams for the song "Burn". I don't know why, but this song is the only track on the album that comes close to the intensity of "Haymaker" and the Throwdown of old. That would also explain why it was the album's first single.

However, in the end, Throwdown has let me and undoubtedly the rest of their fanbase down with "Vendetta". Their live shows are still intense and still a lot of fun to watch, but if their recorded material remains this dull and this bland, those live shows will stop selling out and the only people Throwdown will be playing to and making music for is themselves. Truly disappointing in every sense of the word.

SideCho Records, 2005

Reviewer: Maggie S.

TRIVIUM
Ascendancy

Roadrunner Records, 2005

The first time I popped this album into my player and listened to it from front to back, I realized there was a lot diversity between the songs. Most of it involves Matt Heafy, the guitarist/vocalist who can stretch his voice between screaming and singing. This isn't uncommon within the whole metal/metalcore scene, but there is something about it that's more identifiable than others. Most of the songs on this CD begin heavy in the parts where it needs to be heavy, then breaks down into harmonious choruses that anyone can sing to once you pick up the words.

Another thing that caught my ear while I listened was the amazing, lengthy guitar solo's that Heafy and Corey Beaulieu share within most of the tracks, including the incredible 'duel' half-way through "A Gunshot to the Head of Trepidation" which is then followed by a chant-like chorus that proceeds to lead crowds very nicely live. The title track "Ascendancy" is another part of the CD that I enjoyed, an equal division of break-downs and melodies that made it a perfect choice as the album's supporting song. Altogether, this second edition to Trivium's discography lives up to the gossip and praise with some of the best metal around.

VALIENT THORR

Reviewer: Maggie S.

The cover art of this CD alone is only one of the many deceiving things about the record, a cartoonish somewhat nostalgic logo with tinted pictures of each member shirtless in a less than intimidating pose. I wasn't sure what to think, especially after the almost two minute long introduction titled "Prologue: Civil Blood Makes Civil Hands Unclean". With a confusing, distracting, random message delivered by an annoying, distracting, random voice, it would be enough to lead anyone into another direction than where the album was meant to take them. The music itself on Total Universe Man is for those who can adapt to it – a strange blend of 80's rock, modern punk and contemporary rock. I begin to wonder why someone would want to put them all together in this way. Even vocalist Valient himself's style is odd, as if AC/DC's Bonn Scott was reincarnated as a teenager; which isn't a praise. One of the only moderately engaging elements about this element is the guitar work provided by Eidan and Jjin Thorr, which pleases the ears while a majority of the other musical implements do not. To me, many of the songs did not make sense and several of them contained preachy lyrics or prologues, something the hippies of the 60's would strike for, and this doesn't seem like it would fly well if released into the mainstream. Altogether, the world isn't ready for Valient Thorr. Either that or they've been left way behind.

A WILHELM SCREAM