Dethklok Interview

Interview
Dethklok

9/07/07
Interviewers:
Erika Kristen Watt
Josh Thorne
Karma E. Omowale

Lineup:
Nathan Explosion - vocals
Skwisgaar Skwigelf – lead guitar
Toki Wartooth – rhythm guitar
William Murderface - bass
Pickles - drummer

Now, we ask you, we would not be loyal followers of the faction that is METAL if we did not obtain an interview with thee most brutal metal instrumentalists that make up Dethklok. This “band“ is truly catalysts of everything you love about metal music: aspiring hooks and atrocious looks. Most pray (to whichever deity of choice) to become the next Guitar Metal God of the universe and others DO, releasing a 15-song opus, The Dethalbum, which holds such classics as “Murmaider”, “Face Fisted” & “Go Forth and Die”, just to name a few. Bringing together the most talented musicians metal has to offer; we will now witness Dethklok live in a few select cities, unfortunate venue mishaps permitting. FourteenG was the first webzine to be granted an exclusive interview with the band. Dethklok, a Spinal Tap for the 21^st century. Read on…

FourteenG: Aside from your CD, what are your favorite metal CDs of the year?

Nathan: it’s hard to say. I can’t think of too much music I listen to besides ours. But I’m digging the new Exodus and Arch Enemy.

Murderface: I’ve been listening to the soundtrack to the movie “3:10 to Yuma” while wearing a cowboy hat.

Skwisgaar: I likes de news Amon Amarth But still metal albums of de year ams Dethklok, sorry others bands. . .

FourteenG: Nathan at one point, a tour guide stated that you have to have multiple liver transplants just to be able to do what you do. First of all, how much alcohol do you actually consume? And secondly, where do you find all of the livers?

Nathan: I drink a good amount. . . But I don’t need as many liver transplants lately because I’ve changed the quality of alcohol I drink. Like higher grade tequilas. . . Your Patrons, Don Julios. . . The less impurities the less work your liver has to do. . . And The liver are from fans. Some from beautiful women around the world who are nice enough to donate body parts. . . My current liver is from a pilot from Greece. . .

FourteenG: Nathan, are you still dating the comatose bitch or have you moved on to show whores again?

Nathan: No we’re still together, going strong. And she’s still in a coma. It’s probably the best relationship I’ve ever been in, I wouldn’t change a thing. . .

FourteenG: Mr. Explosion, are the rumors about a feud between yourself and fellow metal vocalist Chris Barnes true? I heard a story about Barnes being set on fire at a Dethklok show in Tampa, and didn't know if it was true.

Nathan: That’s the internet for you. . .No we’re friends. We took a scuba diving course together in Chile last year. . .

FourteenG: Can guestimate how much money you’ve wasted in recording costs?

Nathan: We don’t waste anything. It’s part of being creative. . . But somewhere around 20 Billion I’m told.

FourteenG: Pickles people say you’re a dead ringer for Devin Townsend, what do you have to say about this?

Pickles: What mysery? I’m Pickles. It would be a mysetery if I didn’t have a name. Like, “why doesn’t he have a name? See Dats a mysterey fit for sherlock homes. . .

Pickles: Yeah. We cal em goofballs, dildos, ding dongs, duchbags, piggy banks . . .

FourteenG: Have your bandmates in Snakes and Barrels recovered from their horrific drug episode at your reunion show? If so, could we see you recording any new material with this band?

Pickles: I’m currently sueing them to totally own the name SNAKES AND BARRELS. But once we settle that I’d love to go back in the studio and tour. . .

Pickles: Live I have triggers on the kicks. That’s all. I also had some tap dance shoes made with special triggers. I’d like to do a big tap solo like Gregory Hines in the middle of a show someday but I need to work on my tap dancing skills. . .

FourteenG: Skwisgaar do you have any plans to get help with your “music dyslex-kia”?

Skwisgaar: Nopes. I thinks you’ll finds most guitarists cants reads music or regulars words for dats matter. . .

FourteenG: How could reading music enhance “the fastest guitarist alive?”

Skwisgaar: You tells me. It probably couldnts. It pretty much impossibles to enhance whats its already great.

FourtenG: Would you describe your relationship with Toki as “turbulent”?

Skwisgaar: Dis questions ams too leadings. I’d rathers keep de focus on me and mys playings not hims and his horribles playings.

FourteenG: Do you think Toki is competent enough to handle solos or for you to relinquish control over your solos?

Skwisgaar: He woulds be compitent if he practiced for somewheres around a hundred years.

FourteenG: Since your allergic reaction to cilantro set you back during your worldwide premiere for your guitar clinic, if you could re-do that moment, what you have done differently?

Skwisgaar: I woulds have nots gottens my hands stucks in de oxygenatings hands chamers and used BBQ sauce to gets dem out what had cilantros in dems.

FourteenG: When it comes to your sexual conquests, we know you do not discriminate so… [this is where the female staff of FourteenG proposition Skwisgaar] …how would you respond, Skwisgaar?

Skwisgaar: I woulds responds by askings yous to fills out a paternety waiver. And thens I would welcomes you to blowjobs city. . .

Pickles: Maybe dat Law and Order guy, or Leonardo di Caprio. . . If any actor runs they get my vote. . . Jim Belushi. . .

FourteenG: Do you feel that because there are so many bands doing what you’re doing, that you won’t be taken seriously?

FourteenG: If you could commission a band to cover a Dethklok song, who would do it and which song would they do?

Skwisgaar: I woulds likes to see ‘de Fifth Demension’ do MERMAIDER. Or I’d likes to see Louis Armstrongs do “Go into de Water” He and Nathans kind of sounds a like to me.

How's about tomorrow! Well you dudes are definitely on a pace to do so!! Thanks for taking time of of your busy schedules to us mortals!